8 Ways to Learn to Like Yourself and Live the Life You Want
Many people focus on love, loving self and loving others. Since many people have some crazy ideas about love stemming from childhood and passed down old ideas, we want to focus on liking yourself first. Because the mind has a hard time grasping the idea of love. Thoughts such as If my parents loved me, why did they do… fill in the blank. If my spouse loved me, then why did this happen or that happen. You get the idea. The idea of love is a very confusing concept . So let’s focus on liking oneself first. Love can come later. When you like the person you are, making life choices becomes easier because you trust your own judgment. You recognize that you have the power to create whatever it is that you want for yourself and your family. You acknowledge that you only want to create and attract healthy, loving things in your life. You only want to create a life that supports yourself and your goals, dreams, etc.
Try these strategies to raise your self-esteem and learn to like yourself:
1.)Stay in tune with your thoughts. Notice when you’re thinking negatively and positively about yourself. Getting present to what you are thinking in every giving moment allow you to choose which thoughts are serving you. Thoughts create emotions, emotions creates actions, and actions create behaviors. Behaviors create your world. When you can identify the types of situations in which you tend to put yourself down, you can then do something about them. You can decide if you do not like what you are seeing in your world, you can trace it backwards and ask yourself the following questions. What behaviors are creating this result? What actions feed into this behavior? What feeling am I responding? What thoughts are creating these feelings? When we slow down and get present to ourselves and our actions we are able to determine if this is truly what we want in life.
2.)Squelch unhelpful thinking. After you take notice of the situations that trigger those negative thoughts, you can set out to stop such thoughts or at least divert them. Do so by developing your own imagery technique. Doing this from a space of non judgement, and open mindedness is helpful. This is why observing your thoughts instead of judging your thoughts I ssh helpful.
- Imagine a stop sign and tell yourself to “stop negativity now.” Or rather STOP – what am I thinking? Is it helpful? Is this what I want to feel? Does this work for me? Is this serving me? How is this impacting me right now in this moment?
- Visualize that you’re at the beach or your grandmother’s house, where you always feel relaxed and self-assured. Choose a new thought, choose a new feeling, choose a new experience. Choose to change your mental and emotional state. It is possible to have power over your feelings and your thoughts.
- Another way to quell unwelcome ideas is to seek out something positive in the situations you find challenging. For example, if you feel you’re socially inept, make it a point to help others open up to you by asking questions about their work or hobbies. You’ll likely find some common ground for a great conversation. Creating a solution and focusing on the solution rather than focusing on the problem allows for the body and the mind to heal. If you are unaware, ask the universe, G-D, source, creator, etc. HOW? Ask him to show you how, to show you gently what information you need to know to shift these thoughts, and these experiences.
- Learning to stop negative thinking increases your self-confidence and emphasizes that you choose your own path rather than a recurring, unfocused thought pattern. Yet remember, it is not about judging your negative thinking. It is about being aware and present to what you are thinking as well as feeling. Remember you are responsible for your feelings, your thoughts, and your actions. That can be a big pill to swallow for many people. I am not saying that difficult things do not happen to us that can shape our thoughts, feelings, and actions. What I am saying as that these circumstances do not need to define who we are today.
3.)Know your strengths. Occasionally reflecting on what you’re good at will help you see that you’re cherished, important, and helpful to yourself and others. List everything you can think of that you do well. Be generous. If nobody makes a ham sandwich like you do, write it down. If you consistently win at golf, include it. Ask others around you that you know and trust. Focusing on the positive aspects of self is helpful to raising your vibration in yourself and who you are in the moment. Remember, we are all human. We all struggle with our humanity, yet we also always have aspects of ourselves that are incredible. Each one of us possesses gifts and abilities that allow us to share with the world. It is when we can get present and access our gifts, that is when we are able to create and contribute to a more loving world.
- Make your list longer and longer. Keep adding to it. Challenge yourself to add one strength a month to your list. As your list grows, so will your positive feelings about yourself. Remember not to focus heavily on achievements, meaning things that I have attained such as a degree or being a wife. The reason for these is that they are society driven, and externally dependent. Meaning if I suffer with a divorce or my degree is not recognized, having these as “strengths” can create more suffering and stress. The purpose of this list is to have things on them that can never be taken away. These are things that no matter what you have regardless.
4.)Underscore your unique or quirky aspects. If you can recite the name of every major Manga comic book or all the elements on the chemistry table, you’re a truly unique individual. Embrace these special talents with the care and attention they deserve. Plus, there’s likely someone out there looking for the off-beat talent or knowledge you hold. Everyone has a unique gift and ability that they have been blessed with in the world. Instead of focusing on how weird these unique talents are embracing them can create a pathway to self love and acceptance.
5.)Accept your positives and negatives. Learn to accept the parts of you that you’ve tried to reject in the past. See those less desirable aspects as insurance that you’re a member of the human race. Even as children sometimes our unique talents and gifts can be suppressed or discouraged. If you were a talker in class, or a class clown embrace these positive talents and abilities instead of downplaying them. Not everyone will understand your natural born talents and abilities, but honestly they do not need to understand them. However, it is wise if you embrace them. All given talents serve a unique purpose and it is your job to discover this purpose.
- Personal acceptance helps you see that everything in life has a delicate balance and all parts of you create the very special “you” that you are.
6.)Stay focused to live your best life. Although it’s wise to be aware of your less than positive aspects, focusing on the good things will help you excel and continue accomplishing your goals. Keep moving ahead. Ester and Abraham Hicks talk about living in the Vortex. Being in the Vortex is living in the flow or the energy of the things you want to manifest your dreams. If you want to manifest a relationship be in the vortex of love. If you want to manifest money be in the vortex of prosperity. Being in the vortex means that your thoughts, emotions, actions, and behaviors are all being in the flow of what you want to create in your life.
7.)Every morning, make the decision to be in a “good mood.” It’s a lot easier to accept who you are when you feel good about this day. Open yourself to the possibilities around you. Recognize that everyday it is a choice to have a good day. It is a choice to feel good. It is a choice to be healthy. It is a choice to create a day that you love, and that you fully take responsibility. It is a choice to have a prosperous, loving day regardless of situation, circumstances, or events external you may choose to have a positive day one filled with health, wealth, prosperity, and peace.
8.)Set goals that you want to accomplish. Rather than working toward what your parents or friends think you should do, search within yourself what you’d like to work for in life and then go for it. Life is a lot more fun when you choose what you want. What you want may be the path of least resistance, or what you want may be a new and emerging concept, idea, etc. When I knew I wanted to be a Naturopathic Doctor very few people desired that path. Being a holistic doctor was not always cool, on trend, or really even respected. It was something that was often mocked, laughed at, and wildly misunderstood even in todays climate where people would rather not take responsibility with their health. However, I never wavered from my goal to help others get well and because of that I am the provider that I am today. Getting clear on your purpose in life can fuel your goals, and eventually create a life that you love.
Liking yourself allows you to share with others all the good you have in your heart. And the more you do, the more positive energy you have flowing in to your life.This is like living in the vortex of love, abundance, and happiness. Set out today to put these tips into action by being fully present with what life you are creating for yourself. You’ll enjoy your best life ever!
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