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Meditation path to building your confidence

You probably know that meditation is an effective way to relax, but it can be used for many other purposes too when used correctly. If you’re trying to build your confidence, a daily mindfulness practice may help, as ell as assist in the development of self esteem.

Self-confidence is one of the most important ingredients for your happiness and success. It makes you feel more motivated and energetic. It helps you to reach your goals. It can even strengthen your relationships and enhance your health. Self confidence comes from an authentic knowing of self, while unconditionally loving oneself.

gain self confidence

Do you want to feel more confident of yourself and your ability to face life’s challenges? If so, working on a meditative practice can help. Learn how to use meditation to build your self-esteem and confidence.

Using Meditation to Increase Your Awareness

Self-doubts can narrow your experiences and opportunities if you shy away from taking risks. Meditation creates a safe space for looking at yourself and your habits with honesty and courage. It allows the space to be able to forgive self, look at self, and ultimate love as well as acknowledge oneself.

Try these strategies for self confidence:

1.)Scan your body. Your posture affects your confidence. Start your meditation session by sitting up tall and taking deep breaths. Examine yourself from head to foot to spot any discomfort. Try squeezing your muscles and then releasing them. Also, scan and feel around for any emotions that may be stuck or stagnant. Scanning the body for areas of anxiety, fear, or sadness- then accepting these emotions instead of pushing them away can allow for the body to heal. As a response, self confidence ensues as the person begins to recognize what they have not processed and begins to get comfortable with themselves and heir stagnant emotion.


2.)Let go of judgements. Notice your thoughts and feelings without criticizing them. Embrace your strengths and weaknesses. We are all human. We all make mistakes. We all have troubles, trauma, and negative traits. It is a matter of owning these negative traits, accepting them, forgiving oneself for any and all incorrect perceptions as well as acceptance of self. A judgement is an extension of the ego. The egos job is to protect themselves from vulnerability. So when judgement shows up, we know it is just trying to protect itself from seeing itself.

3.)Challenge your assumptions. Do you cling to outdated beliefs that hold you back? Rewire your thinking by examining your typical reactions and considering more constructive approaches. It can be challenging to see these subconscious limiting beliefs, but if you do activities such as journaling or clinical hypnotherapy it can help to distinguish the limiting beliefs to be able to clear them successfully.


4.)Make conscious decisions. It’s easy to wind up drifting along on autopilot. Mindfulness practices help you to take charge of your life. Once you uncover the limiting beliefs, it is time to create the beliefs that you want to hold onto and create the life that you want to create. Limiting beliefs may have been passed down from generations or developed in childhood, however as an adult you are now able to decide which beliefs that you hold.

Using Meditation to Generate Compassion

You may be undermining your self-confidence without even realizing it. Paying attention to your thoughts gives you an opportunity to transform the way you treat yourself. Meditation can help you to slow down long enough to get fully present to what you are thinking as well as feeling. With this information you can choose if this works for you or not. If not you can use the following techniques to transform your self confidence.

These techniques can help you to be kind to yourself and boost your confidence:

1.)Change your self-talk. What does your internal chatter sound like? Replace harsh messages with friendlier feedback. Being present to what you tell yourself is key to beginning to love yourself. Talking to yourself in a positive manner, loving yourself, and supporting yourself through positive self talk can go a long way.

2.)Chant mantras. Reciting uplifting words and phrases is a proven way to stay focused during meditation. Write your own encouraging affirmations or find inspiration in scriptures and self-help books. In kundalini yoga, mantras such as Sat Nam can help to establish yourself. Sat Nam means truth is your identity and identity is your truth. This can cut through subconscious thought forms easily, effortlessly in the moment.

3.)Nurture yourself. Scheduling daily meditation time is a great way to start investing in your confidence and wellbeing. Make healthy eating, regular exercise, and restorative sleep part of your routine too. Choosing self love techniques and healthy lifestyle habits can allow for your self confidence to continue to expand. People that love themselves, nurture themselves.


4.)Seek support. Childhood memories and other influences can make it difficult to show compassion for yourself. Consider listening to guided meditations or talking with a therapist if you need more assistance. We practice various mind – body techniques such as NLP, Neurolinguistic Programming, Clinical Hypnotherapy, or Constellation Therapy to help transform difficult thoughts and feelings which can be holding you back from loving yourself.

Using Meditation to Accomplish More

True confidence comes from within and recognizing your achievements can give you a boost. Meditation teaches you to live more mindfully, and that can help you to excel in your personal and professional life. Meditation is like building a muscle of self confidence or self love.

Consider these tips:

1.)Slow down. The stress of rushing around can erode your confidence. You’ll probably accomplish more with less effort as meditation trains you to move more deliberately. Figure out your priorities and shorten your to do list. Take breaks throughout the day to prevent burnout. Many times when people rush around they are simply running from their emotions. Slowing down causes the to sit with and feel their emotions, which can create a lot of confusion especially if the person has limited skills in emotional intelligence.


2.)Express gratitude. Being thankful makes you feel more secure and connected to others. You’ll have the confidence to take worthwhile risks and try new things. Your warm and relaxed attitude will also make it easier to collaborate with others. Focusing on good things will often bring more good things, so a gratitude practice can be helpful in the healing process.

3.)Keep practicing. Change is usually a gradual process. Be patient with yourself as you build your confidence. Expect some setbacks and evaluate your progress on a regular basis. You’ll probably find that meditating is more productive on some days than others. You’re a success as long as you keep trying. Remember self healing is not a destination it is often a process.

4.)Create balance. Meditation helps you to look at the big picture. As you balance the various aspects of your life, your confidence and peace of mind increase. The more that you take care of yourself while also balancing the various demands that life has is a way to keep your self confidence and self care in check.

Meditation can make your confidence soar. When you love and appreciate yourself for who you are, your life becomes richer and more rewarding. Tune into one of our various meditations in self confidence, and if you are looking for mind body support please reach out for a consultation.

Self-Acceptance: What It Is and How To Get It

Accepting yourself is the first step to building self-esteem. It’s not possible to feel positive about yourself if you can’t even accept yourself. A lack of forgiveness in self is the birth place of autoimmune conditions. Self-acceptance is the level of happiness and satisfaction you have with yourself.

As a holistic doctor, I believe that self-acceptance is necessary before change can occur. If you’re feeling stuck, a lack of self-acceptance may be the first challenge to overcome. Accepting your flaws allows you to change them. We all have flaws as human beings regardless of the person or pursuit of perfection. The key is forgiving ourselves for all of our imperfections.

Learn to accept yourself and enjoy the person you are:

1.)Let go of your parents’ behavior. Some parents are better than others. Overly critical parents don’t have bad children, they’re just not good parents. There’s little to be gained by giving your parents a hard time for their inadequacies. The solution is to forgive them and release yourself from the past. They truly have done the best they can do with what they have at the time. Even if they were abusive, they were acting out of their own hurts and pains from their pasts. This can be a big pill to swallow, yet it does not good to hold onto this pain and suffering of the past.

  • Avoid judging yourself based on the parenting you received. It’s a reflection of them, not you. Consider yourself a miracle for being able to live through that experience and still be standing. Having grace with yourself and the process is key to your healing.

2.)Volunteer. There’s no easier way to convince yourself that you’re worthy of self-acceptance than to volunteer your time with someone that needs you. Prove to yourself how great a person you are. There are countless opportunities to volunteer in your community. Volunteering in soup kitchens, or battered women’s shelters can truly bring more humility to your heart recognizing that everyone goes through difficult times. It brings up a sense of belonging and recognizing that you are not alone.


3.)Be proud of your strengths. It’s hard to accept yourself if you’re constantly reminding yourself of your weaknesses. Make a long list that you can return to in the future. List every positive thing you can about yourself. Even the smallest positive attribute is worthy of mention. Even asking friends and family about what positive attributes can help to reinforce the positive things about yourself.

  • “I am a good person.”
  • “I can play the banjo.”
  • “I am loyal to my friends.”

Self-Acceptance

4.)Forgive yourself. If you’re harping on your past transgressions, self-acceptance will be in short-supply. Chalk your bad choices up to experience and move on.This can be easier said rather than done. Looking at each choice, and reflecting on what you have learned from the experience can be helpful to being able to move on from the situations at hand.

  • Everyone does the best they can with what they have at the time. There will always be moments where you’re less capable than others. You can do better next time. You can learn from your mistakes. You can always accept what you have thought, felt, and done in this situation which can bring you closer to healing.

5.)Let go of goals that will never be reached. If you’re 57 years old, your childhood dream of becoming an astronaut is over. It is. It’s difficult to accept yourself when the life your living is very different from your original plans. There’s a time to let it all go. Let the present moment be that time. Make new plans that are plausible and that excite you. I am not saying that you want to default to being realistic, as you may be invited to go on a spaceship ride, nonetheless it is important to detach from the outcome. Once you detach from the outcome, then you do not have expectations to get disappointed.

6.)Eliminate negative self-talk. You can’t accept yourself if you’re constantly insulting yourself. Give yourself a fighting chance to reach a state of self-acceptance. Speak to yourself the way you would a good friend. Be a friend to yourself. Be kind. Say kind things to yourself, as well as your inner child. Be loving. Be sweet. And especially, be present to what you are saying to yourself that is negative. Negative self talk can deteriorate the self esteem.

7.)Be authentic. When you put on a persona for the world, you’re not giving others the opportunity to accept you as you are. How will you be able to accept yourself? When you’re authentic, the love you receive feels infinitely more meaningful. Living honestly is scary, but surprisingly easy. People admire and respect those with the strength to be authentic. Being authentic, being messy, and be brave are all concepts that were taught by Brene Brown, who taught us how to live bravely and authentically in the world.

Self-Acceptance

8.)Recognize your worth to the world. Fortunately, this isn’t something that must be earned. You’re born with it. How much could you contribute if you applied yourself? The world needs you. What could say more of your inherent value than the fact that the world needs you? Knowing your worth is key so that you do not do things that are below you such as taking a job that is less than what you deserve or settling for a relationship that is abusive. Knowing your worth, and setting healthy boundaries for yourself can help you minimize suffering in this world.

9.)Forgive others. The ability to forgive others is proportional to your ability to forgive yourself. Practice forgiving others and you’ll find self-acceptance comes much easier. Forgiving yourself involves accepting your flaws, and accepting these as a gift. This includes previous mistakes in the past. As long as you learn something from the mistakes, then the mistakes you have made we’re not in vain.

Self-acceptance is fancy word for tolerating yourself. No one is perfect. You accept your friends and family even though they’re all flawed in a unique way. Give yourself the same latitude. Focus on your positive traits and forgive yourself for your flaws and mistakes. Accept yourself as you are, if you are struggling with these concepts or have developed an autoimmune condition as a result please feel free to reach out for a mind-body consultation.

10 Important Issues To Discuss Before Marriage

You might be in love, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you should get married. It’s all fun and games for the first couple of years in most relationships, but all of that changes with time. Eventually, the infatuation fades away and reality sets in. Having clear boundaries, clarity in what you want, as well as clear communication can help to ensure a healthy long term relationship.

Is his cute smile worth living in Nebraska when you dream of living in Chicago? Does her sense of humor make her $140,000 of student loan debt worth it? Weighing out the various nice and not so nice attributes of a person is what can determine if two people can have long lasting power.

There’s a lot more to consider than just how enjoyable it is to be around someone right now. Your life will change and there will be a need for compromise. Is this the right person for the long haul? We will be covering 10 important issues to discuss before marriage.

A long talk (more than likely several) before marriage can prevent challenges down the road and help encourage an eventual transformation from infatuation to a deeper love.

Discuss these important issues to discuss before marriage with your significant other:

1.)Where will you live? City or country? Condo or house? In the same town as your mother-in-law or far, far away. You spend most of your time in and around your home.Does one persons job take them everywhere or need to stay put for a while. Compromises as well as communications will need to be had in regards to location as to where to live in the future.

  • Where you live has a huge impact on your life. Are you both on the same page? The only way to know for certain is to talk about it. One person may have an idea of what makes the most sense in terms of living while another person may be particular about a certain place to live.

2.)Who will clean what? What is the division of household labor? Will the man of the house do the repairs, mow the grass, change the oil in the cars, and pick up the dog poop? Who cooks? Who cleans? Is everything 50-50? There’s no right or wrong answer, but it helps if you both agree. There also may be a decision to get a maid to come into the home to take the pressure off of both parties. In whichever case, it is critical to get clear about those needs up front and get on the same page with things. The most important thing is to work as a team and to disperse the chores over the household so that one person doesn’t have all of the stress.

3.)How much debt do you each have? Financial issues are the most common marriage challenge. How much debt do you each have? How willing are you to deal with your future spouse’s debt? How willing are they to deal with yours? Are you both going to be responsible for your own debt? What’s the plan? Does one prefer to pay for things up front, while the other one lives on credit cards? It is important to look at each others finances, develop budgets, and decide who will paying the bills and how the bills will be paid to prevent any confusions. Needless arguments can be prevented with clarity in communication.


4.)Children. Do you both want children? If so, how many? If your answers aren’t in the same ballpark, you might have huge challenges ahead. Never assume that your partner will change their mind to accommodate you in the future. It’s a dangerous game to play. Having an upfront conversation about children either past, present, or future can help to determine what each others needs may be in that area of life. If one wants more children and another person is done that can be challenging, as well as put more stress on the relationship later on.


5.)Friends. Will you be joined at the hip with your spouse, or will you both be free to spend time with your separate friends? Some people love having time alone. Others don’t trust their spouse to be out with the boys/girls without their presence. Determining how friendships will be cultivated and or if the friendships are mutual or separate can be helpful. One person may be introverted while the other extroverted. Understanding how socialization will happen can help balance the needs of each person involved.


6.)Spending. Some people like to save. Others love to spend. It can be difficult for people that don’t agree on this matter to get along in the long term. Make a plan that works for both of you. Budgets can include things like goals, they can include things like debt pay off plans, etc. One person may be a free spender while the other may be a saver. Determining these spending habits can avoid many fights later on down the road and allow for open as well as honest communications.

Issues To Discuss Before Marriage

7.)Bank accounts. Separate? Joint? A joint account to pay the bills, but also an individual account for each? Who is going to pay for what? Will it be 50-50? Or will the bigger earner pay a greater percentage of the bills? This goes alongside the financial aspects of the relationship and will need to be clearly defined. Joining a bank account is a huge commitment to each other so it is important to know spending habits, financial styles, goals, etc. before making that decision.


8.)Religion. Some people aren’t interested in going to church every week. Others are serious about their participation in church services. There might be different religions to consider, too. Will you go to separate churches? Will one of you go to church while the other prefers to stay home? Others may be more spiritual rather than religious. Even though you may not have the same spiritual or religious beliefs it is important to be respectful and understanding of each others position.


9.)Sex. It all comes down to a question of style and frequency. In most marriages, the issue is more likely to be frequency. Do you have similar sexual appetites? Sex can be a tricky discussion especially early on when the passion is at an all time high. Sexual compatibility may be an ongoing evolving conversation that requires both people to be open and honest.


10.)Neatness. It’s very challenging for a very neat person to live with a messy person. For best results, work out this issue before marriage so there are no surprises.This may open up discussions about where you live, if you will have a maid, if you need an additional storage, if you need to get rid of certain items, etc. Having this conversation about items in the home can help to determine what your living arrangements may be in the future.

Issues To Discuss Before Marriage

Marriage can be a wonderful thing! It can be a nightmare, too which is why it is important to discuss these important issues before marriage. It’s important to do everything you can to ensure that you’re capable of making each other happy for many years to come. Discuss these important issues before marriage deciding to tie the knot. There are many issues that may come up along the way and it is important to discuss these matters to ensure expectations are clear as well as upfront.

Let Go of Trust Issues

Learn to Let Go of Trust Issues and Reconnect With Others

How to let go of trust issues

Most of us have been deceived, mistreated, or taken advantage of by another person at some point in our lives. The feelings od disappointment, betrayal, anger, and hatred can be harbored while eventually turning into disease within the body. Some people have an easy time recovering from these situations and have little difficulty trusting in the future. Many of us can shrug it off, and chalk it up to a learning experience. However many of us, however, find it challenging to trust again as a result of the pain from the pain of the past. Taken too far, it’s easy to become socially isolated, shut down, and not trust people at all.

While it can be hazardous to blindly trust everyone, not being able to trust anyone can be equally problematic. Humans are social creatures, and that requires interacting with others in order to be at our best. A lack of socialization and distrust can lead to many mental health conditions as well as phobias that can further impact your physical health.

Here are some techniques that can be used to be able to forgive as well as trust again and move forward in your relationships:

1.)Find the source. No one is born untrusting. Who trusts more than a baby does? Something has happened to cause distrust to become your modus operandi when dealing with others. It may be several situations from your past. Recognizing the past hurts, who was involved, how you felt, what you thought, and most importantly what you learned can allow you to forgive and move on with your life. In my practice, I often work people through these emotional as well as mental pain and anguish formed from past hurts, and trauma.


2.)Examine and question the past. Observing yourself in various situations can provide you insight as to your life. Some healthy questions to ask yourself:

  • Is the reason for my general distrust rational?
  • Did I overreact?
  • Was I simply too trusting too soon?
  • Is my distrust the result of one bad experience that’s clouding my judgment?
  • Was I naïve?
  • Is this person trustworthy?
  • What have I learned from this situation?

3.)Keep the past in the past. Harping on old hurts is a sure way to prolong your suffering. Did your ex cheat on you 5 years ago? That’s one person, a single instance, and 5 years ago. Let go and move on. That can be easier said and done, especially if you have bee hurt by a parent or you have experienced similar hurts again and again. Look at patterns of behavior. Look at what choices that you made in those relationships and what beliefs and false beliefs that you have made up, such as I deserve to be treated this way, or I always attract unhealthy partners as an example.

4.)Learn. If you believe someone burned you in the past, what are some ways to avoid a similar situation down the road? Completely withdrawing is an effective, but excessive, solution. It is a strategy that people use to avoid being hurt, however this is not a long term solution to have a fulfilled life. It can eliminate some of your challenges with others, but it also eliminates much of the pleasure to be found in life, too. Learning from your mistakes in relationships, taking personal responsibility for your part, and not choosing to engage with people that do not love as well as support you can be helpful in your personal growth and self development.

5.)Go slowly. Some people trust way too much or way too little. Often, the best solutions are found near the middle. Until someone has earned your trust, trust them to meet you at the movies and 7:00 PM, but avoid trusting them to hold $1,000 for you for a few days. I often will do an exercise with a circle in my office with people. On the outside of the circle, I have them write new people they have met, in the inner circles they depict acquaintances, friends, and then close friends. How you operate with a new person or an aquinsatce is going to be drastically different than how you interact with a friend. Distinguishing your personal boundaries with these various relationships can serve as a guide to helping keep you safe and supported in relationship.

  • Beyond a certain point, allow people to earn your trust. Avoid sharing your deepest darkest secrets right away. Trusting and being silly don’t have to go hand-in-hand. Also recognize different people serve different things in relationships. Meaning some people are great to talk to for business matters, while others may be better suited for personal matters. It is key to recognize that one person may not serve all needs and expectations one person to serve all of your needs not only is unrealistic but can also be emotionally challenging.

6.)Question the present. If you find yourself feeling untrusting, ask yourself if it’s justified. Often times if you suspect something in a relationship, trusting yourself in your intuition can be helpful instead of second guessing yourself. There is always a reason why your alarm bells are going off in your mind, body, and spirit. Some of the questions to ease your worries could be:

  • Do I have a reason not to trust this person? Why do I feel this way?
  • Am I unfairly pre-judging this person?
  • Am I attempting to trust too much too soon?
  • What are the consequences of this person letting me down?
  • What are the consequences of not trusting this person?

Sometimes second guessing yourself can lead to further challenges, which is why if you suspect something it is best to trust yourself in the process.

7.)Be more trustworthy. In many cases, those that struggle to trust others aren’t very trustworthy themselves. A thief expects other people to steal. Cheaters expect others to cheat. It’s common to project our shortcomings on others. Strive to be trustworthy and many of your trust issues may disappear. Look at areas in your life where you do not operate in integrity. Do you lie about simple things, do you not pay your bills on time, or are you not being truly honest about how you feel about things? We attract who we are and so if we want to attract those people that are trustworthy, we must be trustworthy.


8.)Reconnect. When you’re ready to reach out to others, make an effort to start with the most trustworthy people you know and branch out from there. Start slow and ensure that the persons words and actions are congruent. If they say one thing and do another that is red flag that they may not be trustworthy. This can create many issues in the relationship to include distrust, withholding communication, and can create distrust in expectations.

  • If someone has repeatedly violated your trust, consider removing them from your life. This isn’t always possible, but sometimes it is. Surround yourself with the people that you deserve in your life. This can also be for family members as well. Sometimes it can be difficult to let go of toxic family members yet it is key to only have those in your life that are going to support and love you.

Trust issues can be painful and challenging, but choosing to be alone is also painful and challenging. By examining your past objectively, you can start down a path that leads to meaningful and enjoyable relationships. A lack of trust can lead to feeling isolated, depression, anxiety, and even shame associated with taking on another persons actions. Getting to the bottom of these feelings, processing through the grief, and transforming your view of these experiences is helpful in the healing process.

Taking small steps toward reconnecting with others can have a profound effect on your life. If you have a challenge with forgiveness, letting go, and moving on please feel free to reach out for a mind-body medicine appointment.

Skin and the Gut

Food for thought about the connection between your gut and skin health on Coast Live

Gut health and skin

The skin has a very symbiotic relationship with the digestive tract. The digestive tract is a primary drainage pathway. It contains and is designed to eliminate various toxins through the digestive tract. The digestive tract may or may not be able to eliminate the toxicity from the body. There is a gut skin axis, which is the connection between the gut and the skin. This connection accounts for many dermatological imbalances.

The skin is a secondary drainage pathway, this is a location to which toxins drain out of the body when the other pathways are overwhelmed. The gut health and the skin have a very symbiotic relationship. They work together to eliminate toxins from the body. If there are imbalances within the digestive tract they will express things in the skin.

The gut microbiome has a host of bacteria, viruses, parasites, and fungus. The microbiome provides a host of immunological as well as metabolic benefits. Just like the skin, the gut has a role in immunological protection. The gut microbiome influences the skin health and skin appearance. Studies have shown the effect the microbiome has on the skin barrier function. Improved skin barrier function decreases signs of skin inflammation. Intestinal dysbiosis, or imbalance in the microbiology of the gut, can have an effect of the skin.

When healing any skin conditions it is critical to heal the digestive tract. That means that you must work on your diet and ensuring that your diet is balanced. From there, it is important to be able to break down, digest, and assimilate nutrients in the diet. Even if you are eating a 100 percent healthy diet, that doesn’t mean that you are digesting and assimilating the nutrients. As we have enough nutrients, we are able to metabolize. As we metabolize nutrients, your body has the enough energy to detoxify. As you detoxify, your body is able to naturally eliminate which means that the skin can stay supple and healthy. If you need guidance on how to heal your gut, to heal your skin. Get in contact with our holistic medical experts today.