A Parent’s Guide to Avoiding Power Struggles with your Teen
Both you and your child win when you avoid a power struggle with your teen. While it’s natural for your child to challenge your authority and try to claim more independence, you have a responsibility to teach them to resolve conflicts respectfully and maintain family harmony. This is family holistic health, which can be taught in variety of ways. Alternative doctors near me can provide insight into the challenges of parenting independent and strong will teens.
If you’re concerned that your teen is breaking your house rules or trying to provoke arguments, there are ways to keep them safe and restore order. Try these tips as recommended by alternative doctors near me for transforming power struggles into more positive communications by creating family holistic health.
Alternative Doctors near me offer Steps to Take to Create Family Holistic Health:
- Set priorities. While some rules are essential, getting rid of unnecessary restrictions can help your teen to feel more motivated and trusted. It can also give them a sense of independence that they crave. Give them opportunities to show that they can handle more responsibility and let them learn from their experiences. However, if they prove they are not able to handle the additional freedoms do not be afraid to pull back and provide some tighter guidelines until they can prove they are ready to handle the responsibility again.
- Manage your emotions. You’ll appear more confident and make sounder decisions if you stay calm. Take a few deep breaths and choose words that will help to pacify the situation. Never try and have discussions when you are stressed, frustrated, angry, or not feeling well. Consequently, do not attempt to have conversations when either party is tired, hungry, etc. This will not yield positive results, but instead will just continue to create more unnecessary stress.
- Be positive. When your teen seems to be defying you, remember their attractive qualities and the things that they do well. Be sure to give them praise as well as constructive criticism. Also, be mindful that they are not doing this to personally attack you, or to harm you in any way. They are exploring boundaries, limits, and various aspects of decision making. Family holistic health looks at all aspects of the decision making process and even empathy for the poor decision process. Alternative doctors near me can help educate not he boundaries in the household and gauge whether the boundaries are realistic or unrealistic.
- Stay firm. If your child discovers that you’ll give in under pressure, they’ll keep trying to get their own way. Stick to your decisions even when backing down would be easier. If you go against your own boundaries, they will get the message that you can be easily manipulated and that rules are meant to be broken. This will prove to be more difficult for you the longer it goes on. Additionally, you and your spouse must get on the same page to have a unified front. Resist the urges of going against your partner or undermining what your partners views are- this can send mixed messages to the teen, creating an even less unified home. Building family holistic health means working as a unit and as a whole. The parents must have healthy emotional distance from children with personal matters such as marital disputes, financial hardships, etc. as children do not need to be brought in the middle of such conflicts.
Family Holistic Health Steps to Take with Your Teen:
- Express empathy. You can validate your child’s feelings even when you disagree with what they’re saying. Try to look at situations from your teen’s perspective and negotiate solutions that meet both your needs. It’s not your way or the highway. This will breed contempt in your teen, encourages sneaking around, and shuts down communication. As an alternative doctor near me, I have seen shut down communication between teen and parent to create volatility so we want to ensure that there is a two way communication especially of important issues like drugs, sex, and interrelationships.
- Speak respectfully. Steer clear of name calling and personal insults even when you’re upset. Be tactful, direct, and open to discussing different opinions. It may be hard, but step away fit you feel as though you need to, at times certain behaviors can be triggering and can potentially be escalating. Remember, you are the adult, and you can create family holistic health, one that honors words, thoughts, emotions of everyone. If you need to walk away and take space until you are open to communication this is healthy and models positive behavior to your teen.
- Ask helpful questions. There’s a big difference between asking your teen why they’re so lazy and asking them why they didn’t clean their room as promised. Focus on fixing the issue rather than casting blame. Also, encourage them to think through their decisions. They may have reasonable and sound logic, even if it is not your preference. In my years as an alternative doctor near me, I have often been tickled by some of the logical responses I have heard resisting homework, babysitting siblings, and even eating vegetables. Honor their feelings while also creating a boundary. Doing this will help you avoid any power struggles moving forward.
- Explain your reasons. Let your teen know why you expect certain behavior from them. They may think you’re being unfair when you’re actually concerned about their safety. Outline clear attainable boundaries, with specific consequences. Make sure the consequences are logical, unemotional, and make clear sense. Have a conversation when the boundaries are broken such as, when we spoke you agreed to x, however you decided to do xx. Can you explain why you chose to do xx? Are you aware of the consequences for choosing to do xx? That sort of communication that is neutral.
- Request their help. As much as possible, encourage your teen to use their own values to create their own rules. They’ll be less likely to complain and more likely to comply. Remember you are teaching them how to think not what to think. You are raising mini adults, who are not going to be around you every waking moment, and will need to make decisions. The goal is that they make healthy decisions without your presence. They can do so if you teach them the logic behind decision making.
- Offer choices. Give your teen options when appropriate so they can practice handling greater independence. If they need to do more household chores, maybe they can decide whether to do those tasks on weekends or after school. Only offer two options and if they break their word, hold them accountable to it. This is apart of creating healthy boundaries for them. Hold them accountable to the boundaries. It is key they know the box to which they are allowed to move around in so they feel safe and secure. Some kids demand more structure, some less. Every child is different.
- Share power. Invite your teen to take on increased leadership. Use family meetings to collaborate on household decisions. This will allow for more increased family holistic health. Be willing to negotiate some limits such as adopting a later curfew on weekends in exchange for making check-in calls to let you know they’re safe. This shows that you are willing to offer freedoms if they earn it with healthy trust worthy actions.
- Do things together. Building a solid foundation for your relationship can reduce power struggles. Put time aside to do things as a family and one-on-one. Cook dinner together or arrange a weekend outing. As they get older, they will tend to want less and less family time so it is key to encourage family time by doing things they enjoy.
- Plan ahead. Teens who are hopeful about their future tend to be less defiant. Ask your teen what their goals are or guide them toward resources that will help them explore their options. Be supportive, yet not controlling towards their future plans. Also, do not attach to any outcomes, as they may change their minds a thousand times before they settle on something that works for them.
- Seek support. If you want more help, talk with other parents or an alternative doctor near me. Your relationship with your teen may benefit from additional insights and strategies.
Seeking more control over their lives is a sign that your child is growing up, but you can keep power struggles with your teen from turning into arguments and fights. Work together to prepare them to take on more responsibility and encourage them to learn from their own experiences. Mostly, be patient have fun, and forgive often and unconditionally.
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