How to Deal with Death in the Family

death in the family

You may have heard the saying that death is just the end of a surprisingly short forest path.

…And if you think about it, it sounds really peaceful. The following article is about the death of a loved one and how I handled it. 

If you’ve had someone really close pass away, however, then you probably know what it felt like at the moment you found out – The things you’ve heard, the people that you’ve seen in your lifetime, the buildings, the oceans, the earth, and sky – it is all utterly meaningless in that moment of quiet stillness. However, all of those instances do not teach you how to deal with a death in the family. 

 Everything is so quiet, the most ear-shattering loss of noises and sounds that you have ever encountered…

If you are in this situation right now, just know… the death of a loved one and how I handled it is a journey. 

Feeling sad and letting your emotions go wild is not a bad thing.

The truth is that it really does hurt, physically and mentally, but there is a way to not let it consume you. How to deal with the death in the family involves you feeling every emotion that you have- unrestrained, unjudged, and fully authentic. This is allowing yourself to have that space to feel. When I experience the death of a loved one how I handled it was processing through all of the emotions of the experience.

There is no magic word, a potion, or a pill that makes the pain vanish. It is a slow process before, during, and after the experience of how to deal with the death in the family. 

It definitely helps to let those tears flow or you may wind up in a situation where you will not know how and when to express what you’re feeling. That is how I handled the experience of the death of a loved one, I allowed myself the space to feel no matter what-

Just don’t let yourself get too comfortable in the fumes of those feelings. It’s just not healthy, nor fair to yourself. Plus to you do not want to stay there in a space of helplessness, hopelessness, and powerlessness. 

We Will All Pass

It sounds so easy to say it when you’re on the other side, but saying these words can change the feeling of despair and is a way of how to deal with a death in the family. 

That is If you understand the logic behind them. 

These words give you insight into how it happens and you can’t do a damn thing about it. You must surrender to the experience and let go of what will be this is a part of the death of a loved one and how I handled it. I surrendered to it. I did not fight it, instead, I embraced it, because there was nothing that I could do.

The sooner you realize this, the closer you are to reaching inner peace. At the end of the day, the important thing is to appreciate life.  

Dying is, and always has been, the most natural event in the logic of the universe. This is a part of the life cycle to which we have no control in the end, regardless of circumstances. 

Every living thing in our surroundings is bound to meet the same faith as us. 

 

Talking About It Helps

It really does, especially If you have a couple of stories that commemorate the legacy of this person, this is the death of a loved one, and how I handled it- I leaned on my support system who reassured me emotionally through the process while I mourned. It was incredibly difficult and in many ways and times, I felt powerless to the experience. I had to surrender to the situation. 

Share them, and be a little bit clingy and obnoxious, and your friends will understand and support you. 

Don’t stop reaching out for help by talking. Remember that you are doing this for yourself and you don’t have to be ashamed of that. Being strong means that you are able to admit that you are weak and need help. Pride is when you believe you have to do it all yourself. Pride overrun is stubbornness that can hinder your progress. 

Sometimes talking may lead to an occasional bottle of alcohol or constant visitations to the grave of the loved one. 

Other things like doubling your exercises or going to support groups may be of some efficiency, but nothing really beats a commemoration with your friends and a drink in memory of the person as a means of how to deal with a death in the family. 

Having Dreams About Them Is Normal

Yes, you dream of that person and you wake up feeling like you’ve run a marathon. It’s perfectly normal. But sleep is too important to not take action in the death of a loved one and how I handled it. Although sleep was few and far between, I was able to experience it in short spurts which allowed me to take a break from the experience. 

Try visiting the home of the deceased, try talking about it with their family, be supportive, and don’t stray from receiving support – everybody needs it and no, you’re not the exception. 

Then a couple of months go by and things seem to be looking up. You still think about the person, but you feel that it’s in a much healthier way, you frequently smile and laugh when someone says his/her name and It feels natural this is how to deal with death in the family. It is about commemorating their death and celebrating their life. It is okay- you do not have to get there overnight, Just simply take your time, baby steps. 

When my husband died, I was devastated. I recalled watching a movie called What about Bob. Bob was a psych patient played by Bill Murray and his psych was played by Richard Dreyfuss. Bob was always needing constant encouragement and his psych Richard taught him a process called Baby Steps. Every day is like baby steps- taking it one day, and one moment at a time. After Teddy died I felt alone, and to “bring me back to life” I took baby steps. Every day was a new step – One day was leaving the house, the next day taking a shower, and so on. This is the death of a loved one and how I handled it- through baby steps. Take baby steps. 

Finally, you realize that the important thing has always been to appreciate and love the people in your life while you can still touch and see them.

Life is too short to hold on to the people that are not with us anymore. On the contrary, celebrate their life. 

Now… call your parents and friends and say you love them as if it was for the last time. Celebrate the people around you, while you have them in your life. 

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