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Childrens Happiness

Parenting Highly Sensitive Child | Tips & Advice For Parents

Parenting the Highly Sensitive Child

Are you wondering how you should be parenting highly sensitive children in today’s world? We have reached an age where the phenomena of intuition, gifted intellectual insight beyond our years, creative and emotional compassion even at an early age. I was one of those children. I recently saw a Facebook post of a toddler hugging everyone when she was leaving. I was that child too. I embraced the energies and needs of others as if they were my own. I acknowledged others and had deep empathy and compassion for their struggles. I still do, and this is one of the reasons I do what I do and am on a mission to bring care back to healthcare. In fulfilling my mission, I am encountering more children like me, highly sensitive ones. THose that are wise well beyond their years. Those that give their parents a run for their money, this is also why I only have one child and enjoy help guiding you through the ups and downs of raising your highly sensitive child. Working with and parenting a highly sensitive child requires a great deal of wisdom and patience. The other thing it requires is a shift in emotional intelligence from the parents.

Not all parents were raised in emotionally intelligence or emotionally supportive homes. IN fact, many of us were not raised in these types of environments at all. Even if we had wonderful childhoods our western society as a whole was not in an awakened state where it acknowledged sensitivity and intuition as well as a emotions as a positive things. As a result, our parents and even their parents were raised to be more in survival mode and less in a compassionate, loving realm. So the real challenge becomes how do we teach something that we ourselves never learned. Or how do we manage with a split brain, meaning the brain that was taught using fear and discipline with the new more sensitive loving emotional brain that values safety and compassion?

This requires that we “raise up” the other side of our brain. The side that only views the world from a punishing, victim, wrong/right paradigm. We all have this aspect of ourselves. The self-righteousness. The judgments, and the fixed views, even if we do not always recognize or acknowledge thes not so pretty sides of ourselves. The control, the ego and the do as I say not as I do mindset. The hypocrite, the accuser these are all aspects of this side of our brain. Notice I said a side of our brain and not a side of our soul. There often is an inner battle that happens between the brain and the soul. The soul wants peace, love, and also sees all the truths about a scenario yet the brain wants to be right and often will look for any means necessary to prove that point of being right. Alas, the mind is seldom right, ha! IN fact, it can keep you spinning and spinning in doubt, worry, fears, and overthinking. Did I do this right, did I say this well enough, should I have yelled, it was wrong to yell, and on and on and on again.

Parenting highly sensitive children need you to raise this part of the brain u and in a lot of ways is challenging you to tonify the nervous system. The highly sensitive child has a very sensitive nervous system that is hypersensitive to the world around it. Highly sensitive children pick up the emotions of other people. They sense other peoples emotions, pain, and suffering because of this they can get overwhelmed in crowds, new situations, large noises, and sudden changes can send them spinning out of control. Criticism, defeat, and confrontation are also not easy for the highly sensitive child who takes everything incredibly personally. They can be perfectionists and strive for that to a fault because they feel so deeply.

Parenting the highly sensitive child II

Parenting highly sensitive children can help you grow in many ways and can also leave the parent feeling exhausted, burned out, and at their wits end at the irrational behaviors at times. Raising a healthy well-balanced child with whom is sensitive is possible it just requires a certain level of patience and willingness to shift to the children needs ahead of your own. You may want a more logical, disciplined, and a far more obedient child however G-D had other plans for you in your discovery. See the child’s sensitivity as a gift instead of a weakness. Embrace their emotions and teach them how to manage them instead of viewing them as innately flawed or there is something wrong with their sensitivity.

Resist the urge to make passive aggressive comments to them about their emotions such as you are such a drama queen, or other name calling as well as not validating their emotions and telling them whatever they feel and however they feel is not a big deal. It may not be a big deal to you, but it is important to them. Harsh dogmatic and rigid discipline can send a sensitive child wrestling. They often cannot handle these harsh tactics, and this will often have the opposite effect that you are looking to create. Harsh discipline can crate crying, yelling, name-calling, tantrums, etc. Teach them about their emotions instead and how to work with them if they get triggered and what tools they can use in order to not allow their emotions to run their lives. Embrace the healthy aspects of themselves and the positive attributes that they possess. Reward the positive behaviors and encourage them when you see them show initiative, independence, and they do something great no matter how small. Try not to express every flaw that they have and only verbally acknowledge the negative behaviors versus the positive. Accepting who your child is goes a long way in the process. Do not try to change your child, fix your child, mock your child, or otherwise see them as wrong. They are not wrong, they are a new wave of spiritually intuitive and gifted children come in to help the world heal. G-D intended them to be this way, and therefore to not accepting them would mean not accepting G-D and G-Ds will. Be easy on yourself and be easy on others in the process.

When it comes to parenting highly sensitive children, it is important to cultivate stillness, calm, and consistency within the home. HSPs love structure, it helps them feel safe. Having the same time for dinner time with the same people does encourage a sense of safety. HSPs do not like change, they do not like variations all around mostly because our nervous systems and auric fields are so far reaching that we are always picking up on things such as danger, emotions, thoughts, pretty much anything that floats by we grasp, pick up and run away with it. Yes, HSPs have pretty creative minds and therefore create stories big and small that may or might not be true. Creating safe spaces with consistent encouragement goes a long way for these special folks.

I always thought discipline was a dirty word but am beginning o acknowledge the safety and security that it contains. When disciplining a child remember it’s not about negative reinforcement which can be at times demeaning and self-esteem challenging. Instead, teach discipline as a guideline to life. Meaning in order to create more freedom the need to create more discipline for self. Think about the CEO that disciplines their mind and time in order to have more time and financial freedom for their families. Discipline has many interpretations not just telling someone when they have done wrong in life. With overbearing and undermining parents they often inadvertently affect a HSPs self-esteem and confidence with their overburdening shame, insecurity, as well as need to control others. There is a healthy way to redirect a child who is not performing the way we think they should, and there are also many ways to approach the same concept, so reflection goes a long way before parenting.

Authenticity – HSPs are truth seekers, but they can also feel and see authenticity in a human being. The deeply love and are empathetic as well as compassionate, while not judging others harshly. They see who you are and they love and accept you anyway so do everyone a favor and be authentic. That means no lying, hiding, or pretending. That means total honesty even if it is tough as well as having full integrity. We often have very good memories and can remember as well as make clear connections to things based on the things you say. Imagine we study you, and hear your words, watch your actions, and can distinguish the two… I know pretty scary, right.. haha.. Not to worry, it is really our, and we hope it feels comforting to have such an understanding and loving soul around you.

Leaving the authoritarian Piscean era of do what I say not what I do, and my way or no way, and the most famous because I say so or because I am the adult, etc. are over. HSPs do not blindly trust, meaning they do not blindly just do what you say because you say it. They do not live in fear like that. In fact, they think for themselves. Gasp! Even more of a gasp if you have raised them to think for themselves and they actually do it. Darn it! How could they! It’s okay, don’t react just observe, and even still learn to teach instead of tell. This has been extremely helpful with my daughter upon raising her. Whenever I tell her to do something, she has about 10 reasons why she is choosing not to do that, and it can quickly become a wrestling match over just about everything. However, when I explore all of the concepts of understanding and teach her all of the aspects she magically says Oh, I can see that, or I understand, or the beloved that makes sense now. So get they are not property, and this is not a police state where you are looking to punish, judge, and admonish at every moment. Your job as a parent is to guide, teach, encourage, and support them in making their decisions. Sometimes the cause and effect will work in their favor to the result they are seeking, and sometimes it will result in a lesson. Either way, it is their road and their journey to discover and jumping up and down and yelling will not do anything to shift the mindset.

Ultimately there is no right or wrong way when it comes to parenting highly sensitive children, there is no expert opinion. I think we all bumble through this infinite discovery of life and work towards deeper levels of understanding both ourselves as well as others. I think another aspect that HSPs take on is the need to care Take others emotions ahead of our own. I think in a lot of ways we feel deep[ly responsible for those emotions around us that we love, honor, and admire. However., as we get healthier, wiser, and more conscious, we discover that we can leave all the feelings that we pick up where they belong. We no longer need to pick up intuitively every thought that floats by and we can recognize where we begin and end, and where another picks up. I often teach people about houses on a street. All of the houses are in neat little rows separated by streets. And before we cross the street, we make sure our street is in order. No throwing trash around and no sneaking into other peoples backyards. We can relax inside our home or on the porch, and we know exactly what laundry needs folding, or trash needs to be taken out, but we do not need to go and do the neighbors laundry or throw his or her trash out. We are content and at peace with our own space, our own place, and our own feelings, thoughts, etc.

In a world filled with anger, judgment, discontent, and disease we need highly sensitive people in order to heal the world. So if you have these sweet spirits in your life love them fiercely, acknowledge them, support them, and be mindful and present to them with authenticity as well as peace. They will appreciate you for it.

*All information contained in this blog post is intended for informational and educational purposes only, and is neither intended nor suited to be a replacement or substitute for professional medical treatment nor for professional medical advice relative to a specific medical question or condition.

How to be a crunchy mom with a CEO time schedule

How To Be a Crunchy Mom With a CEO Time Schedule

Would you classify yourself as a “Crunchy Mom”? Do you want the best for your child but are struggling with managing your time? If there is one thing I feel like I don’t have a lot of, its time and I know this a conversation that I have inside of my head. I have the same 168 hours a week as Tony Robbins, the President, and the Dali Lama. I know right those three people in the same sentence, but its true! What makes those people able to manage and control their time. Do you think they or we get it everything done in a day… I wish! I am a list person, I love lists. They keep me focused, and they keep me accountable. I love schedules.. ha! Anyone that knows me knows how I live and die by my schedule. If you don’t get on the schedule, you don’t get the time, sorry! I prioritize everything in my schedule, each day has a different goal and a person. I used to be more CEO than crunchy mom and would drive myself to insanity to get everything done on my list. I would run myself down and run myself ragged trying to perfect, trying to be superwoman, trying to prove my worth through my to-do list, and trying so desperately to get it all done and get it all right! I had to retire the CEO mom. She was exhausted, irritable, sick, controlling, and would freak out if a last minute cancel would happen or if the dishes were left in the sink at night. I just could not function I was so nutty. The CEO mom was wearing me out, and worse than that she was rocking my adrenal glands all over my body… I am surprised they didn’t run away from my body in sheer terror. I felt guilty when I took downtime, and mind you my downtime consistently of me falling out on a Friday afternoon for an hour on the couch in exhaustion before by sheer wills I would get myself up and out back to work (or synagogue). I was unrelenting and tenacious, yet I was unbalanced, and not well rested. Sleeping consisted of me resting with my eyes closed for a few hours waking up 5 hours later exhausted. It wasn’t until I retired the CEO mom that I found true sleep, and boy was that different. I would work 45 days straight and then take one guilt reddened day off. I was pushing and forcing myself to succeed through education, and certifications trying to prove to myself that I was worthy. I was ruled by guilt and shame that I was a “bad mom.” If I was 5 mins late to a recital because of an employee issue, I would beat myself up at the disappointed look on my daughters face. In fact, I allowed her unrealistic nerve expectations of me rule my life more than any boss could. It was tough. I was always balancing life as a mother and life as an entrepreneur. I’ve been both her entire life. Eventually, I began to gain weight as the stress of finishing grad school, opening a practice, and going through failed marriages took a toll on my health. I felt less and less like myself with less joy and more depression, irritability, and sadness. I felt in many ways powerless over the rat race I found myself in, yet something needed to change.

SO I went to work, and not the work that you are thinking. I looked inward to find my inner crunchy mom Afterall, I am a hippie and the carefree nature of myself is who I was when I had her, that had been lost along the way of responsibility, single parenting, and doing things “well.” I wanted to find more freedom in my lifestyle. I put myself on a schedule, a Dan not just any schedule but an organized schedule. I changed my office hours from being 24/7 round the clock, call, text or email whenever to dedicated office hours. I declared to myself that I would only work 8-8pm (which still seems like a lot, yet has balanced itself more). I also broke out time that I would work on my business, work in my business, and time that I would just Netflix and chill (yes that is scheduled too). I prioritized which days I would focus on which tasks. Like right now is Thursday before patient care, Thursdays are marketing days for me so after a networking event this morning, I am banging out about 4 blog posts before I see cases for the day. Organization has become my friend, and discipline his close cousin. They used to be estranged this two, but after a lot of counseling, they have become best of friends. Discipline is not a dirty word to me anymore, which after a childhood with two overbearing marines I avoided this like the plague. I think this is what created that more free-spirited carefree nature of my personality. And now I can marry and celebrate the two worlds of freedom and discipline and in fact, have found more freedom amongst the discipline to which I teach my patients who literally break out into anaphylactic shock when I mention the word. I think it all comes down to choosing what your priorities you have and setting short term and long term goals while creating accountabilities. The bigger the dream, the goal, the vision the more structured and disciplined your life has to become, with fun sprinkled in there. I always find things to look forward to amongst all of the chaos. This new year I chose to join a hiking group so I could have something non-work related to experience that connects and bonds me deeper with nature and gets me out of the house with a little convincing my daughter may actually come with me, but at 14 years old anything away from WiFi can be a quite big sell.

How to be a crunchy mom with a CEO time schedule II

I think there is a lot we can learn right from this current generation. They approach life in Avery’s relaxed manner, and our authoritarian brains go nuts, and we assume that they will fail because they do not see things in such a life or death manner, but reality is that they will find their way as we all have found our way. Even if that way is surfing their friends couch because they burned all their bridges. We hope that they take the ques, wake up, and are willing to do the work, but as we celebrate time freedom, we also celebrate our responsibility freedom. We are not responsible for other people’s journey. This has been a hard one for me to grasp.

When working with patients, I often reference the sandbox analogy. I give each person their own sandbox. As much as they may want to play with others sand, because it may look unkempt, they simply cannot because they can only stay in their own sandbox. They can’t play with other people toys either even if their toys look shiner. We simply must stay within the confounds of our experience, which means not intervening on another’s experience or lesson or journey. This is tough, especially if you have a save the world mentality, however, this approach can do more harm than help to both parties. You as you neglect ones self in order to rescue another that did not ask to be saved. And the backlash of resentment from the other for feeling as though you intervened when they could handle themselves. It is a hard lesson to learn and one that I continue to reflect on to the point of taking full responsibility even for the creations of the world around me… I’ll save that for another blog post.

The new year brings so much possibility and the one possibility that I want everyone to grasp is balance. Make time for you, make time for the kids, and make time for your sanity. The CEO will give you the time off, and the crunchy mom will be grateful she can meditate, read, or take a nap.

*All information contained in this blog post is intended for informational and educational purposes only, and is neither intended nor suited to be a replacement or substitute for professional medical treatment nor for professional medical advice relative to a specific medical question or condition.

Healthy Living with Essential Oils

 

3.5 Healthy Living with Essential Oils 

 

Learn how you can DETOX your home and revamp your cleaning supplies to use earth friendly, natural, and cost-effective methods of cleaning! Young Living’s Thieves Cleaning lines is like no other on the market. Also will be showing you other household products you can replace for toxin chemical free living!

 

Class is from 1:00pm – 3:00pm 

Essential Oils to help detox the body

 

3.0 Using Oils to Help Detox and Heal Your Body 

 

So let’s talk about Young Living Essential Oils and Detoxing and healing your body! Adding essential oils to your daily routine can help your body repair cells and remove toxic waste from the body. I will be talking to you about 10 essential oils that support the natural systems of elimination in the body including liver, colon, lymph, skin, and kidneys. I also will talk about Young Living’s Nutritive Cleanse and their Cleansing trio and when and how they can benefit you.

 

Class is from 1:00pm – 3:00pm 
Grocery Shopping

How to Live an Organic Lifestyle on a Low Budget | Saving & Budget

Living a Natural Lifestyle On a BudgetMany people say that being healthy or having an organic lifestyle is expensive, or use money as a decision maker for things related to their health and can miss out from all of the benefits that lving a healthy and organic lifestyle can bring. I get it, we have budgets, we have obligations, and we have a limited supply of money at our disposal….or so we think. Being an entrepreneur my entire life has taught me that having the money or not having money all comes down to a mindset. If you think that you have a limited supply of riches to use then guess what the universe says supply and demand leave you tight, crunched, and stressed clinging on to every penny in your bank account for dear life. I have not always been financially free. In fact, there were days that I was fearful of where and when the other shoe would drop. See, I married young at the ripe age of 16 years old to a sweet, but not incredibly motivated hippie who enjoyed the taste of Bud Light more than water. I had stars in my eyes and naivety in my heart thinking that I could be a great parent with an alcoholic, as a savior and a happy codependent. Why not? What could go wrong we all need love right. Well, Dominion Power also requires payment every month on time. Alas, every day I woke up and told myself if I could continue to live this way then I would continue, piecing things together, being the model parent for my little two years old and trying not to get in my husband’s way. He was never mean just not incredibly lovely or pleasant to me when he drunk. I guess he was a little mean. I love him and am grateful to have a daughter with him. She is indeed a beautiful young girl, yet the responsibility of caring for her in a healthy environment drove me to leave her father and to move back home to California, one of the most expensive places to live in the country.

With no child support, working on a divorce, and caring for a toddler by myself while also caring for the burning desire of becoming a doctor I forged ahead to create a life for myself. So when I say I get it, I mean it. It wasn’t pretty. I worked three jobs, I painfully took public assistance of food when I ran out of money to feed her, I could not depend on anyone to help me and not leave me disappointed and often felt on my own to take control of my life. This was, in fact, such a blessing, because then I discovered how powerful that I really am in my ability to create an experience I love. I knew three things; I wanted to be a doctor, I wanted to work for myself, and I wanted to be a good mother. I was determined. I made sacrifices. I worked round the clock. I sent my daughter to excellent preschools. I went to school. I paid a mortgage payment in nannies and aftercare. I was unrelenting. I used my money to feed my daughter healthy foods because I recognized it was a choice. Sure, I could have saved money by buying boxed Mac and cheese, but I knew the damaging effects of processed foods and prefered the organic lifestlye. I wasn’t raised that way. I was raised with an understanding of whole foods as a vegetarian (and not a pizza and pasta vegetarian).

I didn’t have a budget, because I had no money. No matter what you divide zero by it still makes zero, so what was the point. Count my pennies obsessively. Freak myself about where the next dollar would come from or worse think that all the money I was making was a result of me and only me. Spirit carried me through, G-D created miracles for me that I couldn’t even imagine. Against all the odds, he opened doors, and he showed me the way. I trusted in him immensely mostly because I couldn’t trust anyone else. I didn’t have anyone else I could depend on, because so many people had failed me. Without my faith and my relationship with our creator, I would not be who and where I am today and for that, I am eternally grateful.

Living a natural lifestyle on a budget II 

We talked about mindset, health is a mindset. It is a mindset that you prioritize. Not everything can ever be all done at once. You won’t just magically wake up with your bank account filled or living in your dream house. It requires focus, dedication, and intention. I intended to not settle for anything less than health in my life. I was only willing to invest in my health and not subsidize my illness. That meant clothing shopping at thrift stores in order to go to organic stores. That meant spending money on chiropractors and holistic practitioners over waiting until I got sick. That meant not running to the doctors every time I got sick but rather learning however to heal myself using natural remedies. I was fortunate to be raised more naturally, and having an understanding and importance of health and an organic lifestyle at an early age. I am grateful of this experience and use lots of practical education to help my patients transform their lives.

So once I made up my mind that regardless of any outside circumstances I was going to live a healthy and organic lifestyle, I let it go and gave it to G-D for further guidance. Practically speaking, I prioritized the things I purchased. Things like food, supplements came well above new clothes, etc. I opted to walk local places rather than driving my car all of the time to conserve gas. I took my daughter to play dates, and park trips for entertainment as well as looked for many free to no cost things we could do because I privatized many of those dollars to her education and after school nanny. I got referrals for after school nannies from people I knew well and negotiated flat fees up front. I would supplement my gratitude by giving them gift cards at the local spa I worked at when I could to say thank you. Being grateful goes a long way when others are helping you. I consolidated, and instead of renting an apartment I rented a large master bedroom with master bath with groups of women, that way I could save on rent because again my childcare expense was literally a mortgage payment. I did not depend on any financial support from the government as I made too much money to their standards, my ex was still (and is still) getting his life together so could not consistently pay any child support. So, it literally was just me and G-D, taking it step by step. That is how I lived my life, in order to not succumb to my friend overwhelm which whom would show up anytime I would want to pull the victim card. I acknowledge my fortitude, my dedication, and calculated tenacity. Some of your reading this choose not to make the sacrifices necessary in order to get to where you want to go. Some of you are already coming up with excuses in your head and mentally tell me that I couldn’t possibly understand the position you are in, and in a lot of ways you are right. I am not there with you. I don’t know your situation or circumstances or the product of your choices at this point in your life. All I know is that there is life on the other side of the victimhood. There is life on the other side of the chaos. There is a peace and a calm that you could only dream about and it is possible for you to create the life of your dreams with all the organic food you could imagine…. as I now learn to grow my own hydroponic produce to again reduce costs and have further quality control over my food.

Recognize that your food is your medicine and living an organic lifestyle doesn’t have to be expensive. What you have in your fridge and in your home to eat can hurt or harm you. Choose health over bottom lines, take a leap of faith and surrender your life over to a source larger than yourself because he can help you. I am not speaking religiously, I am speaking spiritually. Walk with him, rest in him, and he will help show you the way. He did me, and I am eternally grateful for his messages and his calling to see me through eh darkest of times. I can help you show the way if you are stuck, and help you get back on track when it comes to living a healthy and organic lifestyle. I’m just a phone call away.

*All information contained in this blog post is intended for informational and educational purposes only, and is neither intended nor suited to be a replacement or substitute for professional medical treatment nor for professional medical advice relative to a specific medical question or condition.